If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

This is just something I need to remind myself everyday!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Out of Touch/ Finding Faith

I was sick for three days, better now. I hope all of you are well, no worries it was not the flu, only a self inflicted manifestation of stress. As you all know, I have been looking for a job for a long time now. I found one, I will be working at a for- profit child care center, it will be different from non- profit but at least I am working. I start on Monday which will new as well, because I will be taking the bus.

I decided to take the bus- one because I have to, my tags are expired and I need to repair my car, secondly I have a lot of homework to do and I will be able to get my homework done on the way into work everyday. Also I just need time to think and not worry about traffic. So for the first two months I will be busing it until I get my car fixed, then I will see, if it works out, how I want to handle taking the bus once it is not a necessity but a choice. That is the one thing I have learned for all of this, I need choices.

When I left my teaching job I did so when the economy was failing and it took two weeks to find a job. I really wanted to try something different. Teaching was never my goal in life but I am good at it and I love watching children learn. So for almost twenty years I have worked primarily in Early Childhood Education. I have been an advocate for teachers most of that time. But after working as a 1-3 grade teacher and not being qualified,(I have a BA but not a teaching certification). I needed a break and wanted to work on pursuing my art. In comes the record store.

The record store that I worked at is rare and I loved it, but I was at a different phase in my life, just did not see yet. The God and Goddess tend to give me any opportunity I want and it is me who walks away or walks forward with it. After six months and twenty pounds of weight loss I could not survive on minimum wage. Also there was a huge integrity issue happening at the store, which I could not stomach, so I gave my notice.

It was a huge leap of faith, or just stupid but I quit not having another job. I had to put my health first. It has taken thirty days to find a new job. I have learned in the process that... ( list time)

1. I want to work on my faith, it is not as strong as I thought.
2. I have to work at a job, but find my passion through my art.
3. I am definitely going through a midlife crisis, and it is called that for a reason
4. Four years without a relationship is too long, it is making me strange:)
5. Integrity means nothing if you are homeless. ( i am not homeless, just close to it)

So I am back and will be beginning this next phase. It's funny to wake up one day and know that your life, (my life) has been my own creation and I have chosen really odd colors to paint it with. Where the hell is purple when you need it!

Blessed Be,

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

New Movies/ Finding my space

So sorry i have not been online I have had sever issues lately. Anyway, I have had many things happening in my life. The life coach program is very interesting and I am gaining a lot of insight about myself. The house cleaning before Imbolic is going well, a few days behind but I am forgiving myself because finding a job has become a strong priority right now.

I watched a old new movie last night and really liked it. Before I say the movie I just want to say that I am learning so much about how closed and judgemental I am with regards to how I have been closed to new things. Movies may seem like a strange way to shift my lack of openness to new experiences but it works. I am learning that there is a lot of enjoyment out there! Nice! So on with the movie!

Be Kind Rewind! Loved it. I cried at the end. So much for thinking I know everything.

I want to say thanks to all of you who continue to check me out and for new folks signing on.